By Julia Langkraehr, an EO UK-London member, and founder/director of Space and People

Often people view networking negatively because they don’t enjoy it, or they feel like they’ve been used by someone at a networking event.

For me, networking is something I really love. So I stopped to think: Why do I love it, and what do I do differently that makes it a positive experience for me?

I think a lot of it is down to attitude. I don’t regard networking as simply chatting to someone at an event, exchanging business cards and then never following up, or chatting to someone to use them.

When I attend an event, I always have a goal; to meet cool people and learn something new. For me, the best way is to work out how to connect and relate to people as individuals. I truly enjoy connecting with people, and my network extends across the globe. Networking has helped me create three multi-million pound businesses, and develop lasting friendships.

When I meet someone, I try to learn from their life experiences by asking questions. I learn from what they have done right and I try to learn how I can avoid their mistakes. For me, there are four C’s to keep in mind when you’re connecting:

1. Care
People are smart and intuitive. They can tell if someone is a taker and if they are going to be used. If you want to network effectively, you need to show genuine care to have a successful interaction.

People will expect you to ask who they are, what they do and their position, but the best way to genuinely connect with the person is to ask them a general question about a topic they’re interested in. Ask questions and encourage the person to tell a story about that topic.  If you talk about a subject near to their heart, they feel comfortable and enjoy talking with you. It could be sport, a hobby, the latest celebrity gossip, a film they recently saw, a favorite book, or it could be a world event like the Olympics.

I recently met a guy who was a pilot. I asked him where is the most unique place he’s had to land a plane and his favorite airport. It was interesting for me and he enjoyed sharing his experiences, so we both had a genuine and enjoyable conversation. I’ll remember him because of the connection we made from his pilots experience and my love of travel.

2. Co-operation
When I meet someone at an event, I’ll ask them what’s happening in their life – the good, the bad and the ugly. As we talk, they may want to discuss a challenge they’re facing in their business or personal life so I sometimes ask them how I can help. I might be able to connect them with someone who could assist them. If I can help them, then in one month, or six months down the line, when I need assistance, I’ll feel comfortable calling them and asking for their support and expertise. This is a great way of building goodwill, a good reputation and it’s a nice feeling to help others.

3. Connect
I enjoy introducing people to each other and helping them figure out how they can mutually benefit from a new connection. Often you can have two seemingly unrelated people in different sectors and magic happens when they start talking. When I meet a person who is fund-raising for their business, I’ll offer to connect them with a friend who had raised millions of pounds and can share their learning and experience.

The expression is six degrees of separation: I am continually surprised when I learn it’s one or two degrees between you and the person you need to connect with.

4. Consistency
You can’t expect to be successful at networking if you only turn up to an event once. My approach is to be consistent with my attendance, donate my time to groups and boards and give back without expectations. A golden rule: in order to build your credibility and reputation, you need to follow-through and deliver on promises. The benefit of going regularly is you get to know people on a personal level and build relationships and friendships. This makes it feel less like networking and more like catching up with friends.

If you show you care by being genuine, you co-operate by offering help, you connect by facilitating introductions and you are consistent and visible, then you are able to build your network before you need it. When a critical issue arises, you will not only know the person you need to speak to, but will have the personal relationship to reach out to them directly.